Dr. Harold ToboggansM.D., D.F., F.M. Psy.D, WHyD-TyD.Shelby county certified. Certified waterboarding specialist. Tennessee licensed electroshock therapist. 4100 N. Parkway Blvd. Memphis, TN 381234-90210 Phone: (901) 555-1234 Fax: (901) 555-1235 EMAIL: drt@drtoboggans.com Adequacy is within your grasp. |
A Message from Dr. ToboggansWelcome to DrToboggans.com, your one-stop information hub for America's most amazingly brilliant therapist. Here needy therapy-seekers can discover the many wonders of Doctor Harold Toboggans and, after a thorough credit check, finally receive treatment far beyond anything they could ever imagine or even deserve. Remember, don't give up on you - that's our job. |
The appropriately named Shut Up and Listen podcast did exactly that recently as I dropped by to grace the crew with my wisdom and raw intellect. Hosts Jared and Justin received a new lease on life, even though they were pretty much upside-down on their old one.
Even unexpected guests DangerCouch were partially cured.
Hear the entire brilliant broadcast for yourself at the Shut Up and Listen pod-hive-thing.
Visible School founder Ken Steorts is a man badly in need of therapy.
Some nine years ago, armed with only a credit card and a dream, he set out to “fill a need” he saw for the musical and spiritual training of christian musicians and ended up with a full-blown music college for his troubles.
Talk about overcompensating.
Fortunately for him and his students, I am on the case.
Mind Over Memphis – Visible School
With the help of my clinical intervention, and a great deal of cash, I hope to soon set Steorts on a more lucrative and fulfilling course of education, one spent on a more financially endowed student body composed quite possibly of accountants, assassins or even personal injury attorneys.
But until my treatment can take full effect, you can see the current musical mandate of Visible School here.
-Dr Harold Toboggans – living gift to education.
At first glance Kevin Gaiman seems to be my kind of guy: organized, industrious, frightening.
His Nightshade Manor facility, although billed as a haunted house, is actually a first class psychiatric clinic, specializing in what I like to call “adrenal-assault therapy.*”
Unfortunately, closer examination reveals Gaiman to be riddled with generosity, compassion, and other mental shortcomings.
Unlike myself and other reputable therapists, Kevin pays his staff, and worse still, regularly offers discounted admission to the public.
Mind Over Memphis – Nightshade Manor
That’s right. Nightshade Manor brutally lops off $2 of each ticket price for those bearing two items of canned food for the Mid-South Food Bank.
This condition has gotten so bad that over five tons of food have been collected and…how it pains me to say it…donated over the last three years.
Clearly, I reached the man just in time.
He’s a difficult case, but with lots of work, and a small fortune, I’ll have Kevin Gaiman back to adequacy before you can say, “feeding the hungry.”
-Dr Harold Toboggans –philaphro-repression specialist.
—
*The principle behind this therapy is simple: the alarming ambiance and disturbing cast of characters elevate a patient’s blood pressure and anxiety until their neuroses simply burst out of them like eggs in a microwave, but without all the sulfury residue
Dr Toboggans presents his new videos series Mind Over Memphis.
Curing the do-gooders and creatives of Memphis one session at a time…
Send it to everyone you care about.
It had been a long day at the Cooper Young Fest. I had cured countless people of their repulsive partyofilia, and as a brief and entirely insufficient reward for my services, I let my mighty mind wander for a bit to my own concerns.
My thoughts drifted to my winter wardrobe and certain additions it required.
I needed something attractive yet intimidating, something that radiated my native intelligence, competence and psychiatric power.
What, I wondered, could be more perfect for a therapist of my prestige than a beagle-skin blazer?
So I set off in search of one.
There wasn’t much in the way of domestic fur-goods among the festival booths, which were more geared towards art, crafts, and other desperate cries for professional attention, but still I persevered.
And at last I found it. The solution to my winter outerwear dilemma: a booth simply titled Dog Coats.
Watch as I skillfully negotiate for a garment with the proprietor in this video:
Alas, I -Doctor Harold Toboggans -was bitterly disappointed by the outcome and feared nothing would ever lift my spirits.
That is until I received a custom poem from the Memphis Writers Ensemble.
Return to Case Study – Cooper Young Festival
"web hits" today.
"Twitter"
