I knew from the outset that my intervention at Church Health Center Wellness would be a rough one, but I never suspected how quickly things would get physical.

In fact, during the ensuring interviews, if it were not for the peak of perfection in which I keep both body and mind, mangers Kimberly Baker and Richard Murphy might have wrestled the investigation from my unwavering control.

But of course they did not.

Strangely, even though they spilled information like a ruptured water main, I still found myself no closer to finding founding physician Dr. Scott Morris.

My search continues in part two: “Night of the Livid Nutrition” airing on March 1^st.

Begin you own investigation of CHC Wellness here.

Enter the Wellness

Of all the institutions I have dealt with in my long and exceptionally gifted career, quite possibly the most misguided is Church Health Center Wellness.

The CHCW came to my attention like so many others do, with an anonymous e-mail tip reporting of questionably compassionate behavior and chronic do-goodery – so I launched a routine surveillance with wiretaps, thermal scanners, and some x-ray goggles I ordered out of the back of a magazine.

Deep Under Cover

I knew something was amiss when I heard the words “not-for-profit” and “medical care” in the same sentence,  co-joined like a two-headed dragon of financial ruin.

And when I discovered their tinkering with non-FDA approved treatments like “prevention” and “exercise,” I knew it was time to strike.

If ever an intervention was called for – quite loudly and in angry tones – it is  at Church Health Center Wellness.

And answer the call, I shall. Not just once, but three times.

That’s right; I have devised a therapy for these hope-mongers that is so potent, and frankly alarming, that I must separate it into three doses for fear of burning out the internet and plunging the world into chaos.

“Is that the internet again? I smell smoke.”

—

Part one of this intensive three-part mini-session will enlighten your existence on February 15^th.

Part two will transform your psyche on March 1^st.

And part three will detonate  your dysfunctions on March 15^th.

—

If you miss these sessions, your life will grow so drab and meaningless that when you finally do return to therapy I will charge you double .

Unless of course I am already charging you double, in which case you’ll eligible for my new triple-dip pricing program.

-

-Doctor Harold Toboggans -anti-philanthropoloist at large

Church Health Wellness – trailer

Guy Cobb is a man who has forgotten how to play by the rules

As a former Bud Light Daredevil, Cobb grew accustomed to ignoring the demands of gravity and when he launched the Tennessee SuperLab Show with its blend of backyard science, impromptu invention, and crazy stunts, things got even worse.

If it were not for my timely intervention, Cobb might still be spiraling wildly out of all bounds.

It will not come easy, surely not without AFITE,* but I will cure Guy Cobb even if it takes every nickel he’s got.

-Dr Harold Toboggans – genius at large

—–

*American Federation of Internet Tinkerers and Experimenteers.

Mind Over Memphis – Tennessee SuperLabs

Recently I was conducting a routine security sweep for Patient Zero, maintaining a diligent lookout for terrorists, politicians, and loose change to apply to his bill, when I happened upon longtime therapeutic client, LOBO, who took the opportunity to interview me for his tawdry internet tabloid. 

In the exchange that followed, not only did I provide the invaluable wisdom and insight that have made me an international psychiatric star, I might have even saved Zero’s life.

Now if I just find way to charge him for it.

Get all the details at LOBO’s digital lair, Predator Press.

The appropriately named Shut Up and Listen podcast did exactly that recently as I dropped by to grace the crew with my wisdom and raw intellect. Hosts Jared and Justin received a new lease on life, even though they were pretty much upside-down on their old one.

Even unexpected guests DangerCouch were partially cured.

Hear the entire brilliant broadcast for yourself at the Shut Up and Listen pod-hive-thing.