Recently I was conducting a routine security sweep for Patient Zero, maintaining a diligent lookout for terrorists, politicians, and loose change to apply to his bill, when I happened upon longtime therapeutic client, LOBO, who took the opportunity to interview me for his tawdry internet tabloid. 

In the exchange that followed, not only did I provide the invaluable wisdom and insight that have made me an international psychiatric star, I might have even saved Zero’s life.

Now if I just find way to charge him for it.

Get all the details at LOBO’s digital lair, Predator Press.

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Visible School founder Ken Steorts is a man badly in need of therapy.

Some nine years ago, armed with only a credit card and a dream, he set out to “fill a need” he saw for the musical and spiritual training of christian musicians and ended up with a full-blown music college for his troubles.

Talk about overcompensating.

Fortunately for him and his students, I am on the case.

With the help of my clinical intervention, and a great deal of cash, I hope to soon set Steorts on a more lucrative and fulfilling course of education, one spent on a more financially endowed student body composed quite possibly of accountants, assassins or even personal injury attorneys.

But until my treatment can take full effect, you can see the current musical mandate of Visible School here.

-Dr Harold Toboggans –  living gift to education.

Mind Over Memphis – Visible School

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At first glance Kevin Gaiman seems to be my kind of guy: organized, industrious, frightening.

His Nightshade Manor facility, although billed as a haunted house, is actually a first class psychiatric clinic, specializing in what I like to call “adrenal-assault therapy.*”

Unfortunately, closer examination reveals Gaiman to be riddled with generosity, compassion, and other mental shortcomings.

Unlike myself and other reputable therapists, Kevin pays his staff, and worse still, regularly offers discounted admission to the public.

That’s right. Nightshade Manor brutally lops off $2 of each ticket price for those bearing two items of canned food for the Mid-South Food Bank.

This condition has gotten so bad that over five tons of food have been collected and…how it pains me to say it…donated over the last three years.

Clearly, I reached the man just in time.

He’s a difficult case, but with lots of work, and a small fortune, I’ll have Kevin Gaiman back to adequacy before you can say, “feeding the hungry.”

-Dr Harold Toboggans –philaphro-repression specialist.

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*The principle behind this therapy is simple: the alarming ambiance and disturbing cast of characters elevate a patient’s blood pressure and anxiety until their neuroses simply burst out of them like eggs in a microwave, but without all the sulfury residue

Mind Over Memphis – Nightshade Manor

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It had been a long day at the Cooper Young Fest. I had cured countless people of their repulsive partyofilia, and as a brief and entirely insufficient reward for my services, I let my mighty mind wander for a bit to my own concerns.

My thoughts drifted to my winter wardrobe and certain additions it required.

I needed something attractive yet intimidating, something that radiated my native intelligence, competence and psychiatric power.

What, I wondered, could be more perfect for a therapist of my prestige than a beagle-skin blazer?

So I set off in search of one.

There wasn’t much in the way of domestic fur-goods among the festival booths, which were more geared towards art, crafts, and other desperate cries for professional attention, but still I persevered.

And at last I found it. The solution to my winter outerwear dilemma: a booth simply titled Dog Coats.

Watch as I skillfully negotiate for a garment with the proprietor in this video:

Alas, I -Doctor Harold Toboggans -was bitterly disappointed by the outcome and feared nothing would ever lift my spirits.

That is until I received a custom poem from the Memphis Writers Ensemble.

Return to Case Study – Cooper Young Festival

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As I made my rounds through the Cooper Young Infest, curing hordes of hapless revelers from the dreaded plague of Partyophilia, I kept a sharp eye out for associate therapists to add to my corporate stable.

Many lesser psychiatrists feel threatened by potential competition, but not I.

That’s right my patients, Doctor Harold Toboggans relishes the presence of useful individuals, people  who even though helpless to add to my staggering wealth of knowledge and talent, might at least serve to expand my list of billable services.

Specifically, by doing the actual work themselves.

And in Deborah Camp and Michael Correll of the Mid-South Spay and Neuter Services, I think I made a real find.

They are dedicated, snip-happy individuals, and other than their minor lapse in judgment by offering to remove a man of my unique wisdom and stature from the gene pool, they seem to display all of the poise, assurance, and spontaneous surgical instincts required of my junior therapists.

And since their operation is non-profit, they should feel at home with my pay scale

See it all for yourself in this adrenaline-packed video:

Fixing Doctor Toboggans

Sadly I was not so fortunate at the next booth, where I had hoped in invest in a profitable puppy scalping ring. See my disappointment in the upcoming and tragic dog coats video.

Or return to Case Study – Cooper Young Festival

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