Fixing Your Toboggans – Dr T and the Mid-South Spay and Neuter Services

September 27th, 2009

As I made my rounds through the Cooper Young Infest, curing hordes of hapless revelers from the dreaded plague of Partyophilia, I kept a sharp eye out for associate therapists to add to my corporate stable.

Many lesser psychiatrists feel threatened by potential competition, but not I.

That’s right my patients, Doctor Harold Toboggans relishes the presence of useful individuals, people  who even though helpless to add to my staggering wealth of knowledge and talent, might at least serve to expand my list of billable services.

Specifically, by doing the actual work themselves.

And in Deborah Camp and Michael Correll of the Mid-South Spay and Neuter Services, I think I made a real find.

They are dedicated, snip-happy individuals, and other than their minor lapse in judgment by offering to remove a man of my unique wisdom and stature from the gene pool, they seem to display all of the poise, assurance, and spontaneous surgical instincts required of my junior therapists.

And since their operation is non-profit, they should feel at home with my pay scale

See it all for yourself in this adrenaline-packed video:

YouTube Preview Image

Fixing Doctor Toboggans

Sadly I was not so fortunate at the next booth, where I had hoped in invest in a profitable puppy scalping ring. See my disappointment in the upcoming and tragic dog coats video.

Or return to Case Study – Cooper Young Festival

The Horrific Dangers of Partyophilia

September 22nd, 2009

partyophilia

A cautionary warning by Doctor Harold Toboggans

M.D., D.F., F.M., Psy.D, WhyD-TyD

Each year, thousands of unsuspecting Memphians indulge in the countless concerts, art festivals, and other social dangers infesting our city, never suspecting that they may fall victim to the most insidious psychological plague of our time:

Partyophilia.

Simply put, Partyophilia is the irrational and inexplicable compulsion to engage in relaxation, recreation, and the company of other people.

Symptoms include:

  • mingling
  • laughter
  • painful-looking dances
  • smiling
  • strange attire
  • mild intoxication
  • a complete and utter lack of useful labor.

suffering partyophile

A victim suffering from partyophilia

–

recovering partyophile

A victim recovering from partyophilia

If you or someone you love are suffering from the horror of Partyophilia, don’t wait – contact the modest and amazingly brilliant Doctor Harold Toboggans at drt@drtoboggans.com today for a complimentary* psychiatric assessment.

Before you know it, you’ll be discovering neuroses you never knew you had.

Remember: “All work and no play keeps your Doctor quite well paid.”

Harold Toboggans Humor4

drtoboggans.com

“Adequacy is within your grasp.”

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*Not a free service, we just promise not to laugh at you until your credit report comes in.

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To witness people just like you being cured of the sufferings of partyophilia – go to the videos.

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Need to hold hope in your own desperate hands? Click here for your own printable copy of

The Dangers of Partyophilia.(PDF)

Curing The Cooper Young Fest

September 15th, 2009

Recently I was in a state of deep contemplation, meditating upon how best to aid my fellow man in ridding himself of the guilt, anxiety, and financial surpluses that plague these troubled times, when it occurred to me that I might more easily distribute my enviable horde of wisdom at some sort of professional convention or other psychiatric function.

With deft precision I queried the internet, seeking the next available Kierkegaard-Jung conference.

That’s when I saw it.

An industrial strength conflagration of camaraderie, creativity, and other psychiatric dysfunctions. An event practically screaming for a therapist of my own considerable gifts.

A Psychiatrist's Dream Come True

The Cooper Young Festival

I cannot tell you how the existence of such an unrepentant display of revelry and relaxation in my very own Memphis troubles me to the core.

It’s such a tragedy. Such a waste.

Such an opportunity for new business.

Fear not my wayward Memphis, I shall cure you.

Oh yes, I shall.